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The meaning of Success: Our Stories & Testimonials
Laura's success story:
"How I self-treated myself with this site"
Beth's success story:
"The meaning of success"
Cathleen's success story:
"Healing without stress"
More success stories:
Laura's success story: "How I self-treated myself thanks to this site"
Hi everyone,
before reading the information of this site I was so ignorant and desperate about vaginismus that I would have believed the first person telling me it could be cured by drinking a dragon's potion!
I had read a book in the library but it had scared me even more. From that book, written by an Italian gynecologist, I got the idea that there wasn't a real way of self-treating yourself and that specialized doctors were needed. I expected to find some practical tips, but there was nothing there and I had started to feel very low..
Then, unexpectedly, a twist of fate led my gynecologist to your website and he then called me to tell me the great news! One of his colleagues had recommended the vaginismus-awareness-network site to him and he said that he thought it was not only well done from a medical and informative point of view, but that it could have helped me self-treat myself!
(And he was totally right!!)
He said the best way to treat vag. was to get to know myself and my body on my own and at my own pace. I was still a bit skeptical though, but I believed him because he wasn't gaining anything from referring me to that site, actually, he probably lost a lot of money since I didn't need to go back to him anymore! So I thought it was worth checking it out, plus it is free, it doesn't ask you for a password or registration of any kind. So together with my husband I read all the main sections dealing with vaginismus, from the page explaining how it could be 'functional' (and I think lots of women should read that part) to the guide to dilating.
I pondered over the guide for a while before starting the process, also cause I had a hard time getting the dilators online, since I don't quite trust online shopping. So eventually I took the cute advice this website gives for poorer women and I used a carrot (and I have to say I found it relaxing to peel them down!). All I bought was a tube of lube at my Chemist's and a pack of condoms to put on the carrots and then at home I had my first dilating session!! No pain, just a tiny bit of burning which quickly went away. Granted, the diametre was still very small, but what a great achievement for me!!
And it just kept getting better as I gained in confidence and trust in my body, and after following the many tips in the guide and site, I recently had my pain-free first time! No blood and no pain. Me and my partner are still experimenting with positions but we are taking that too in stride..
Thanks to some of the wonderful articles in this website in fact, I had reached that mental peace of mind which had helped me accept that intercourse is not a fundamental aspect in a couple's life, so I wasn't obsessed by the thought of having to cure this and this helped me very much as I got rid of a lot of pressure.
But most of all, thanks to the honest reflections offered in this site, I managed to get to know myself and my body better, and give a name to traumas I had been through during my childhood, so I am gaining something which goes way beyond the cure from vaginismus...
I don't know if handing over my treatment to a doctor would have guaranteed a personal satisfaction as deep as this or such a new intimate knowledge of myself.
If I had compelled my vagina to open up thanks to some anti-depressants or injections, would I have been able to comprehend what she was trying to teach me, by closing up? Because thanks to this site I understood things of me I didn't know and I'm happy to finally understand my body signals more, good and bad..
Due to the traumas I had as a child, I now see how it is very likely and totally understandable that my vagina had shut down, so I wouldn't ever call it a sexual dysfunction, nor an illness (also because, vag. aside, I found a very fulfilling sexual intimacy with my husband).
I feel bad when I think of those women who don't have my luck in finding this site and free guide and who pay thousands of Euros/Dollars to be cured, just because they are not adequately informed.
I don't know how you girls managed to create such a complete and accurate website but your hard work has certainly been very useful to myself and many other women I believe, but even if it had just been helpful to me, it would have been enough, trust me!! Me and my husband were starting to be dragged into a nightmare until that unbiased gyno. suggested your website for us. So with all my heart, THANK YOU all and keep on helping women freely as you do.
As for the women who are about to read the website, my advice is to read it very well, taking your time, understanding what vaginismus is and isn't, what it could mean and only then move to the practical part and the guide (but I know that you are probably in a rush to get there, as I was!!). But that's my advice to you.
I am sure that this journey can be very useful and precious and I wish you all to experience what I have. Ciao now
Laura (Italy)
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Beth's success story: "The meaning of success"
I was 17 when I first found out that I had Vaginismus, and I was devastated. After months of unsuccessful attempts at having intercourse, I read an article in a magazine about a girl who had Vaginismus – the story could have been mine. I recognized the feeling she described immediately, that it was like there was a wall stopping anything from going in…
I searched on the internet for the term Vaginismus and was presented with various websites offering different types of treatment, all of which came at a price. I also came to realize that there didn’t seem to be a “quick fix” cure for the problem. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t have Vaginismus, even attempting to force my own finger inside myself. Needless to say, it didn’t work but I didn’t want to accept that there was a real problem which could take months, or years to sort out.
I started spiraling into a whirlwind of negative emotions. I felt depressed, I felt inadequate, I felt like a freak and I felt like I would be lonely for the rest of my life – after all, what kind of man would want to be with someone who can’t have sex? I had been cheated on in the past, I thought that was going to be my lot for life. I forced myself to think positively and at least try to cure the problem so I ordered a set of dilators from the internet.
And so the treatment began… At first it was going really well, within a few weeks I had progressed so far that I had went from not being able to insert anything to being able to insert the first two dilators out of a set of 4. However it wasn’t long before progress slowed somewhat and I felt as though I had been stuck on the second dilator forever. Time passed and nothing changed and I became more and more unmotivated. So, I gave up.
For months I went between dilating religiously and not dilating at all. I would start, do well, and then I’d get bored when I saw no more progress so I would give up again. During this time I became more and more depressed. Sex had become everything to me. It was everywhere I looked, everyone was talking about it, and it seemed that the whole world was obsessed with something which I just couldn’t do. I wanted to have sex but my body wouldn’t let me. I felt like I wasn’t a real woman.
Eventually some of the pressure was lifted when I managed to insert number 3 for the first time. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of myself. I started dilating regularly again and with each time I inserted the third dilator, it got that little bit easier. I finally saw myself getting somewhere and I thought it wouldn’t be long until I was completely cured and could have sex. I was wrong though.
A few weeks later I got a tear. There was lots of blood, and lots of pain and I ended up having to go to the doctors about it. She had a look and said the tear was healing on its own. She also said that it looked like I had a very small hole and that I needed to go to the gynecologist to get it checked out. She never explained what this meant for me, she never talked about possible treatments. She never even said there was a cure for it and at the time I was too upset to think about asking.
The next night was my high school prom, I spent most of it crying because I thought I would never be able to have sex and consequently, also never be able to have children.
From then until the appointment with the gynecologist, I didn’t do much dilating because I thought there was no point considering I just had a “small hole”. I was however, reassured by many members of my support group who said they had also been told they had a “small hole” when they went to the doctors and that it was because my muscles were clamping, so my hole was actually only closed up.
The appointment with the gynecologist came a few months after I had been to the doctors. It was not a pleasant experience. I wasn’t ready to be examined and I didn’t want to be examined. I had been told that I was being referred for an examination under general anesthetic; however there was no mention of this when I arrived and instead she tried to pressure me into being examined without it. I refused so she started telling me about the operation that I would need to have to make my vagina bigger, a hymenectomy… This was without having even looked at my vagina.
At this point I realized that she clearly wasn’t worthy of my time if she was willing to make such a stupid statement. I finally realized that I knew my body better than any doctor did, and if I felt I had vaginismus, then I had vaginismus. So I told her I didn’t want any operation and I left with advice to dilate in the bath, and a referral to a psychologist.
The psychologist was very nice. She talked to me about how dilating was going, how I felt about it and if I had any other problems going on. Although she was friendly and seemed caring and understanding, I never really felt I could open up to her so I kept a lot of things to myself. She also couldn’t help much as far as dilating was concerned as I already knew what I had to do; in fact, by then I probably knew more about vaginismus than she did. Nevertheless, I did feel the appointments with her were good for keeping me motivated, she often set me goals to achieve by the next time I saw her (no pressure, just something to aim for) and I usually did reach those goals as I wanted to show her how hard I was trying.
Not long after I had started seeing the psychologist, I managed to insert the fourth and final dilator. I was shocked, excited and quite overwhelmed. When the kit had arrived, about 14 months previously, number 4 had looked huge. It seemed impossible that it would ever fit inside me… I couldn’t even use a tampon! But there I was, and I had inserted it. It felt tight but not painful and I knew with practice that would go away.
It was around this time that my attitude towards vaginismus changed. I had always felt depressed about it, like it was a curse. I had just wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible; it was like a parasite taking over my life. I wanted to be “normal”. Finally though, and perhaps it was because I was so near to being cured, but I was starting to realize that for me at least, vaginismus was a blessing.
I had come to see that life, relationships and even sex were about so much more than actual penetrative intercourse. For some reason, society seems to be obsessed with intercourse and women are made to feel like prudes or freaks if they aren’t at it like rabbits 24/7. God forbid a man could actually be “stuck” in a relationship with a woman who CAN’T have sex!
I began to question WHY I was so intent on having sexual intercourse. What exactly was the big deal? Why should it be such a huge problem if a woman (or a man for that matter) can’t have intercourse? It shouldn’t be something which is taken for granted, taken as a given in a relationship and yet it is. People can get divorced on the grounds that the marriage is “unconsummated”. Why does consummating a marriage involve intercourse at all? Is that the only thing that can make a marriage complete?
And what about understanding vaginismus? Why is it that doctors, gynecologists, and so many men just don’t get it? I know women who are being sexually and physically abused by their husbands, people who are supposed to love them, because they can not have sexual intercourse. Sadly this is not actually uncommon, many men feel it is their right to have sex with their wives or girlfriends and whether it hurts them or not, they will go ahead and do it anyway.
However sick and twisted I think the men that do these things are, it is not solely their fault that they do not understand vaginismus. Unfortunately it is a much hidden, secretive condition which nobody seems to discuss. There is very little information available in the media about vaginismus and there isn’t very much medical research available either. Nobody even knows what the prevalence rate is because women are so ashamed that they don’t feel they can get help or support.
I came to realise that this is what is wrong – not the fact that I couldn’t have sex. Women should not be made to feel like freaks just because they have vaginismus. After all, is it any wonder our vaginas are shutting up when we are bombarded with stories of women and children being abused and raped on the news every day?
I see my vagina as smart, and rebellious. She rebelled against this violent, sex obsessed society by putting up a barrier and not letting herself be used. Vaginismus has protected me not only from having sex with men who would have later made me regret it, but also from being date-raped when I was 15. Yes, it also made me feel miserable at times, but I would have been a lot more miserable at this moment in time if I was talking now as a rape victim or with a child from a person who cheats on me because of lack of intercourse.
As it happens, I have now been able to transition to intercourse and don’t get me wrong, I am very happy about that but it also wasn't an Earth-shattering, "I've- turned-into-a-woman!" kind of experience.. I was just happy to be having sex with my loving, supportive boyfriend and happy that my months of dilating had paid off.
I have also come to see that intercourse really isn’t the be all and end all. It is just part of a relationship which should not be put on a pedestal and treated with more importance than all those other things that are important in relationships.
I guess I want my story to show that the success that comes from working through vaginismus is so much more than just physical. Yes, I am physically cured from vaginismus but I have also grown emotionally and blossomed into someone who questions things rather than just accepting everything which society and the media feeds me, about sex, relationships and love.
I want to make one of my aims in life to spread the word about vaginismus and help some of the women out there who are suffering in shame and silence. I don’t just want to help them to be able to have sex, I want to release them from that shame and guilt by showing them they are perfect as they are and do not need to be able to have sex to be a “real” woman. That, for me, was the main thing I got out of working through vaginismus, learning to love myself and expect to be loved for me, regardless of my ability/inability to have intercourse.
That was my success..
Beth (U.K.)
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2. Cathleen' s success story: "Healing without stress"
(or The alternative to kegels)
Hi there everyone,
I've been asked to share here my story and my "alternative technique" to show how it is perfectly possible to solve vaginismus without stressing at all about Pc muscles and Kegels, actually, without any stress at all, so I'll try to do my best to share it here, but please don't expect some magical alternative remedy or new techniques. I just think I followed my intuition pretty much and the advice of the site... But I'll try to be more specific.
Before reading about these exercises in a support group for vag., I had no idea that mastering Kegels was deemed to be so important and necessary to solve vaginismus. My gynaecologist had never mentioned them to me. I had no idea they were "needed" at all. In my experience in fact, they aren't. Mind you, I think Kegels work perfectly well for some women, I read of many girls who benefited from them. Also, it's scientifically proven that they work for vaginismus. But I guess I'm here to tell you that doing Kegels (especially a fixed amount of them daily) is certainly not the only road to solve vaginismus and that there is therefore no need to stress too much about them. That is all I want to say here.
I solved vaginismus without doing a single Kegel, except maybe for a few times when it happened spontaneously, just out of curiosity, I had one of the dilators inside me one day and my vagina grasped it tight and then released it (which, incidentally, was also the day where I finally understood how could strippers open beer bottles with their vagina!!)
That's all the Kegel I've done! :)
At the same time, my muscles down there were very much tight. That I could easily figure out. I was literally walking tight all day long. After being told in a support group that it was not 'normal' to feel so tight all the time, I remember I would try to catch myself off guard during the day, to see if my vagina was tight or 'loose', and it was always shut down tight, the muscles forever clamping as I now know many other girls' are too.
So if I had to explain what worked for me, since it evidently wasn't my mastering of the PC muscles and kegels, I guess I would have to say: "tuning in", stretching (dilating) and most of all kindness!
Basically, I took my time to get fully in touch with my vagina. I focused on her a lot. I got to know her, studying her anatomy very well, I got to like her, to understand her for wanting to close down, I got to feel for her and to feel with her. Just as much as I was out of tune before, when I considered her a problematic part of my body which I wished was different, I gradually started loving her and considered her a part of my body I wanted to befriend, a part that was pretty cool, funny too, and extremely intuitive..
Having acted in the Vagina Monologues, I used the technique where you get to ask your vagina for stuff, and then you listen to what she tells you, to the first thing that comes to your head, and I still remember cracking myself up at hearing some of those intuitive answers..
So yes, I started really liking her and when you like a part of yourself, or another person, the last thing you want to do is for them to put up with something they don't feel like putting up with, stressing them out, insulting them.. You want them to feel happy and safe and understood, and that's absolutely what I did...
So I took all the time I needed to get on her same wavelength before dilating, and it was beautiful. To get more practical, I took a few months or more, before starting dilating, to get comfortable with my vagina. I was in no rush and I was glad nobody rushed me to start using the dilators because I never liked them much, they actually terrified me and made me feel so cold, so I decided to use fingers instead, they felt more natural, but first of all I only promised myself (and my vagina) that I would be doing insertions (a.k.a. dilating exercises) ONLY when I truly felt like it, when SHE felt like it, and only when I was fully relaxed and fully in tune with her.
Not once have I forced anything in or done insertions against my own will or mood. Not once have I dilated when I didn't feel like it or without being fully on my vagina's side and telling her that no matter how things had gone, I would not be depressed or disappointed with her.
I totally disagree with people advising women to dilate following a rigid routine and at least some days every week, as a rule. That sounded way too stressful for me..
I went for weeks without dilating at all. It wasn't a big deal, there was no drawback. I had other things on my mind, and on my plate, which I had to focus on. Some much more important than vaginismus for sure..
But evertime I dilated, (overall only 8-10times, but with many sessions each time) I took all the time I needed, I prepared carefully and took time off everything else, I was fully there, focused in the moment, it was not a duty or chore, it was something I ENJOYED experimenting. So each time my vagina learnt the lesson that it was safe to trust me, and that it was enjoyable too. Each time was a beautiful experience, it was totally relaxing, and I can remember most of those sessions in fact, because there was true collaboration between me and my vagina. It wasn't me AGAINST her, trying to trick her into opening by manipulating the muscles or giving her some medicines.. It was just a collaboration, as between friends.
I didn't have to retrain my muscles or exercise them into submission. I didn't have to force my genital area to put up with exhausting daily dilating sessions or daily Kegel sessions which she didn't feel like doing. I just had to follow her lead and wait for her to be fully ready to experiment things with me, and only when I felt fully ok I would then try out all the tips and techniques I had learnt in my support group or from my gynaecologist (how to relax her, how to find the opening, how to move the dilators so as to 'stretch' the vaginal walls or the hymen painlessly and gradually etc..) . I poked her with my finger, I soothed the burning after the first insertions, I made sure she could insert a speculum painlessly before having a gynecological visit, I followed her lead when one day I could see she felt like trying a bigger size but I also followed her lead when one day it was clear that nothing was going to enter there, and I showed her respect and called it a day. No worries..
And it was powerful, and it was loving, and it worked..
The other thing that helped me was having the support of a partner who never saw vaginismus as a problem, since day 1 of our meeting.
I will never forget how his constant kindness, his unshakable belief in me as this good, cool woman, and his complete lack of pressure on me to "fix" vag., or to be sexual, made my muscles naturally open one night.
We were talking, just talking, over the phone. And yet he was so focused on me, he was listening so carefully, he was fully there completely immersed into the pretty intimate things we were saying. I could feel how delicate his choice of words was, and I was free to tell him EVERYTHING off the top of my head, cause I knew he could take anything, any thought, any feeling without getting touchy or violent or moody (unlike my former experience with men had been instead).
So during this perfect flow of free and considerate communication, which had made me feel so relaxed and loved to the core of me, suddendly I felt my muscles 'down there' open.. indeed like a flower.
And that's a cliche' imagery, I know. Yet that's exactly how it felt... I went to bed and fell asleep like a baby, completely satisfied as if we had had a sexual or spiritual union of some sort.
And after that time, it happened again and again, so as he says, it's no wonder I get so mad and uncomfortable everytime I read that men are advised to be more aggressive, that they should exercise some 'gentle pressure' on their partners with vag., whatever that is, cause to me what worked was his total kindness and lack of pressure whatsoever and his focus on my soul and my heart..
So we may fix vaginismus using a lot of other techniques instead, and exercise those muscles into opening by following a regime of insertions or kegels, but I fear we'd completely ignore our vagina's messages to us, so I wouldn't call that "healing" ...
I feel that I've healed in more places than just my vagina and it's been a beautiful journey, nothing I look back with shame, regret, sadness or any other bad emotions at all. Definitely not something I would want to forget all about..
I actually thank vaginismus cause not only I got a really good chance to get to know my vagina better than most of my friends do (they even ask ME for advice now!!), but because I have a new friend, and I'm totally tuned in with her and I learnt my lesson about not trusting people who don't put their hearts into what they do to me or to her..
Most of all, it taught me a lot about what love is not about, and the power of having someone making love to your soul... I could do without sex, but after experience that kind of free love and deep intimacy, I know I could no longer do without that instead. If I had never experienced vaginismus, I think I would have settled for a lot less in love. So I'm thankful to my vagina for it..
So, that's my "success" story..
IN VAGINA VERITAS ;)
Cathleen (Australia)
More success stories
Hello ladies,
I'm sitting here in Dublin, Ireland on a balmy night, enjoying a well deserved glass of rose wine - I'm emailing you because I want to thank you for what you've done for me in literally two days, that doctors and psychologists could not cure in six years. It is true what you say, but I never would have believed it - vaginistic women are the Che-Guevaras of sex. What a blessing - not a curse.
I am 36 years old and could never insert anything into my vagina - heck, I barely found the opening until 2003. I was sent by my doctor to a sex therapist who said I was just "bitter" about sex and coupledom in society and could physically live and survive without sex, and also to a gynacologist who uttered the tiresome cliche - "small opening, very hard to find".
I worked with dilators for years, but could rarely get past number two, and eventually just gave up. Pushing them in - it just didn't feel right. There was no man in my life at all - my sexual responses had shut down - and I fell into a deep depression. I also didn't like many of the romantic and physical relationships I saw around me in friends, neighbours, etc. but pushed this thought to the back of my mind. But I also was very puzzled, because in my heart, I have always been a very passionate person, and very sexual in thoughts and fantasies. This internal conflict was tortuous. I was psychically charged up, but with no environmental outlet nor body-self response.
But within the last few weeks, something changed. I have been under immense pressure in work - in fact my business collapsed in the present economic climate. I have had so much financial and health bad luck lately, that I longed for someone to touch me and hold me. I decided to visit a massage therapist - and I wanted a man. Not for sex at all - that goes without saying! - but just to have a man's hands on me, caressing me, for relaxation, without judgement or expectation. I found someone and after the first two sessions I started to feel and look really well.
I was astonished as to how his touch made me feel, and I started to feel something very strange - I felt like I wanted to make love to this man. Not be in a relationship with him, date him, chase him, marry him - just take him and make love to him, on my own terms. I started to feel very powerful. (Of course I did not reveal this to him.) I tried the dilators again at home, realising that I was finally, genuinely sexually aroused. But again - nothing. I tried them from the back, and they eased in slightly better, but still painful and "shoving". My mind simply could not accept that sex was supposed to be like this. I spent two full days crying. I was more sexually aroused than I had ever been in my whole life, but still the dilators would not go in.
On my next visit I took the plunge and told the therapist that I suffered from vaginismus, and that his work on my body had brought me back to a place where I would again be confronting an old enemy. He was very caring and listening, and said that the doctors had been wrong in their assessments of me. He said that it was psychological, and that I would need to come to terms with who I really was for this to be cured.
I realised that my desires were real, and that I really wanted this matter to be solved. I went to your website, and read all your articles. I was so moved - particularly at the description of a vagina opening up like a flower to the sun.
A few days ago, I took some quality time for me. I relaxed more this time, and again tried to insert the dilators. Again - nothing. So - like Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars where he turns off his targeting computer and relies purely on instinct before he blows up the Death Star! - I took a long hard look at my recent pattern of arousal. I wanted to make love to this man (even if not ethical - a separate point) - so I imagined myself as to what doing that would be like. I spoke to my vagina, told her I loved her, and asked her what she really wanted. I received an answer, which was: if I wanted to make love to him, there is the possibility that I would be on top, enjoying him, caressing him, not having a penis rammed into me in a receptive manner.
I used lots of cherry lube, put on my favourite music, and as if I was making love on my own terms to a man, just sat gently down onto all four dilators, one after the other. They went in like a hot knife through butter. (Maybe that's not such a helpful description. :)) My vagina loved it; they fitted her like a glove. No burning, shoving, bumping, obstruction or pain. She was in control of the situation, and she was content. It was actually an exquisite feeling; to know that one day my vagina would be doing this again, but this time looking down into the eyes of a beautiful, handsome partner.
I am both exhilarated and angry; I can make love to someone now. I know I can. I've been fed such awful war stories about sex and what it is down the years. I'm not swallowing those anymore; I am so excited about the future. It's going to be great.
I cannot thank you all at the VSN Team for what you've done for me. Just that little mental switch did it all.
I love you all so much. We are amazing women, and without realising it, we have been chosen to change the sexual nature of the world.
Kindest regards and with much love, L.
br>
GINA'S SUCCESS STORY "HOW BIOFEEDBACK WITH A PHYSICAL THERAPIST CURED ME"
I am a 46 year old woman who suffered with vaginismus from age 26 to 46. I was recently cured after seeing a Physical Therapist who practices biofeedback.To make a long story short my vaginismus was global, not situational. Not only was intercourse impossible for 20 years but gyno exams were excruciating. I tried treating my vaginismus myself using the dialators many times but was unsuccessful. I had no one supporting me or guiding me. So when things became difficult I would just give up.
Seeing the PT made all the difference. She had experience treating women with vaginismus.
not all P.T.'s work with the pelvic floor but not all P.T.'s do biofeedback. What a women with vaginismus needs is a P.T. who does both.
Before putting that first, small, dialator in me she manually stretched the inside of my vagina. When the dialator went in effortlessly and without pain I was shocked. Twice a week I went to see her at the hospital she works at. She would work with me, support me, and guide me each step of the way.
While she was helping me overcome my vaginismus problem she was also helping me strengthen my pelvic floor which is so important (before I saw her I had no idea mine was weak). After about a month of seeing her twice a week, she started giving me dilators to take home. From the beginning she used them on me in her office. Manually stretching the inside of my vagina before going up to the next size. Eventually the dilators we worked with got bigger. And now, after 3 months, my 20 year vaginismus problem is completely cured. I'm shocked and delighted. God knows I wish I had known about this sooner. I don't want anyone to go through what I did all those years. And that's why I want to get the word out that this works. You do not have to fix this problem yourself if you can't nor do you have to pay expensive practitioners.
There are physical therapist's out there who are experinced at treating this problem and it can all be covered by insurance. They will work with you until your better. And if I could get better..YOU CAN.
I would urge anyone who has vaginismus to do what I did. You can get help. There are a lot of people who practice biofeedback, but remember, you need a physical therapist who also practices biofeedback. Call around to your local hospitals. Ask for the physical therapy department. Then ask the PT department if any of their physical therapist's are trained to do biofeedback. And just to make sure, ask them if the physical therapist who practices biofeedback works with people with pelvic floor dysfunction (that's all you need to say).
I think that all PT'S who practice biofeedback do. But ask just to be sure. Once you found one, get a doctor, any doctor, to give you a script for "biofeedback." The diagnosis can be "pelvic floor dysfunction" or anything she/he wants. Then call your hospital's PT department and make an appointment. Once you've done that....relax. Everything is going to be o.k.
Gina
Michigan
Anonymous from England
Hello
I just felt the need to give some feedback to this truly amazing website. I first realised I had problems when me and my boyfriend started getting serious and found we could not have sex. At first I felt angry, and frustrated because I didn't know what the problem was, and was too embarrased to go to a doctor. I used the NHS website, which pointed me in the direction of Vaginismus, and then to this awareness site.
I followed the guides, and understanding the muscles and causes of the problem really helped me overcome it. I am lucky enough to have a supportive boyfriend who talked with me about my problems and helped me with the exercises. At the same time he let me make the rules and was never forceful or pressurising.
I think a large part of why I had vaginismus is because someone tried to sexually assalt me when I was younger. This was something I didn't think was affecting me, but was. Talking it through (as I had never told anyone before) made me feel a lot better. Also the dialation guide really helped, although I only used my fingers, as it felt too weird using vegetables and other objects! I found a pattern of doing things that worked for me, I tried each stage in the bath, not in water then with my boyfriend. Once each stage felt comfortable, I used another finger. This way things were gradual and never painful.
Recently I felt ready to try sex again, and was able to without too much pain. This was something several months ago I was sure I would never manage, but thanks to your website I was able.
I think the overall key to success is to have realistic aims, not to rush things and find a way of doing the exercises that suits you.
Thank you for all the help! I hope everyone is lucky enough to find this site.
A NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: "This website was written with women like Laura, Beth and Cathleen on our minds.. women ready to validate their vagina and to challenge the idea that vag. makes them helpless, unlucky, unlovable creatures. Theirs are the stories which make us keep fighting for this site..
They show so beautifully not only how possible it is to self-treat vaginismus on your own and for free, but what a beautiful healing journey this can become too. In fact, it is such a perfect example of how helpful this network can be, that it'd be easy to think we made their story up as a promotional tool, but I can promise you we didn't.. Thankfully stories like these are not uncommon and I hope yours will be the next one.. So all the best.."
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